


All Our Sins

by LittleSweetCheeks



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Death, Family, Friendship, Gen, Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 11:43:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16491929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSweetCheeks/pseuds/LittleSweetCheeks
Summary: 'Meet me at your office' the message had said, from a number she didn't know. She would have been worried if her office wasn't in the middle of a federal building in the middle of a military base... But then...the monsters had made it there before...





	All Our Sins

**Author's Note:**

> My muse is crabby...

She hefted her handbag further up her shoulder as she approached the security desk. Stan blinked twice before gracing her with a smile. “Not a case, I hope, Mis Prentiss, you just left here.”

“No case and don’t I know it.” She hesitated, glancing at the phone in her hand, screen dark. “No, I got a message saying to come back to the office. Any ideas?”

He sighed, gesturing to the guest log between them. “It’s been a slow night and you know me, I wouldn’ta sent someone up at this hour without callin’ you direct.”

“I know Stan, I’m gonna head up anyway though.” Her eyes glanced over the nearly empty sheet.

“Sure. Joe’s checking five, so he’ll be up there in a minute.”

A tired smile crossed her face. “Sounds good.” Pushing off, Emily headed for the bank of elevators that would bring her out at the main door of the unit and went up. The bullpen was only lit by evening lights, no agents were at their desks. Crossing the eerily still room, she took the steps and unlocked her office door.

The inside of her office was even darker than the bullpen, the blinds were shut tight over the windows. Something in the back of her mind stopped her from just flipping on the overhead lights immediately, instead she let the door softly close behind her as she moved to the desk lamp. Halfway across the room, something in the air made her breath catch. Closing her eyes, she reached and felt the small knob of the lamp.

“Don’t… Please.” His whisper from somewhere across the room felt like shouts.

It unnerved her that he could manage to get in here undetected, or maybe he hadn’t, and he’d just used his considerable history to pull some strings. She didn’t turn to face him, it wouldn’t have helped in the darkness, but she could hear the soft swish of fabric against fabric as he shifted in place. Based on the sound, she could imagine him shifting his weight to one foot, probably chewing his lower lip too.

“I’m sorry if I scared you.” His voice wasn’t any louder now.

“You didn’t.” She could hear his faint exhale in disagreement. “If I was scared, I wouldn’t have come.” She realized she was whispering too.

“True.”

“Why.” She could hear his breath catch now, he had something on his mind. She started to repeat the question. “W-”

“It was on the news.” He cut off.

Emily nodded, not that he could see it. “I got the reporters to hold the story as long as I could.” She wanted to turn around, wanted to look him in the eye, but she didn’t move. There was the whisper of fabric again and then a slight stillness to the air as he drew close enough to block the movement coming from the vent. “I’m sorry. I never expected something like this to happen. N-not…not like that.”

“Your job is dangerous.”

She felt herself shudder as individual hairs on her head moved, she guessed his hand was hovering close. “It always has been, isn’t that part of why we do it?” She paused as she felt him pull away. “How’d you get in here? Stan didn’t say anything.”

“I came in the back, they should really change the key to the emergency door once in a while.”

“But the cameras-”

“Are easily looped… Only an expert would be able to fix them.”

“You mean the expert we don’t have anymore.”

It was his turn to be silent, Emily was about to apologize again when he spoke. “Did she suffer?” His voice was harder now, the tone making Emily flinch. She knew the look that would be on his face. “Did. She. Suffer?”

“I’m sorry… They wanted her to watch what they did… She bled out slowly while we searched… The M.E. said we would have had hours to have saved her life.”

“She never should have suffered. Not her.”

“I know.”

“And him?”

“His death was an accident. They didn’t know him, he wasn’t their target, he was just in the wrong place. They didn’t know about his health issues.” There was silence again and the hint of warmth at her back slowly moved to her front. “They knocked him out with blows from the butt of their guns, he had a seizure and they didn’t try to save him.”

“It should have been me instead of them.” She could feel his breath on her cheek now.

“It shouldn’t have been anyone.” She bit out sharply before swallowing back the emotion, remembering what came after. It hadn’t been publicized, he may not know. A thought crossed her mind. “You’re not here about them though, are you?”

There was a tiny gust as he sighed. “No.”

“I don’t think I have the answers you want.” She _knew_ she didn’t. “I’m so sorry.”

Her tone spoke volumes, that waver he’d never heard in her voice before, the one that was clearly a dam holding back an infinite ocean of sadness. “H-how…”

“I don’t know for sure.” Her voice now was impossibly softer. “They called me because they didn’t have any information about anyone else.”

“Joy?”

“I paid for a private plane to bring them out, she made arrangements.”

It was the shuddered gasp that finally made Emily turn and face where she knew he was standing directly, cautiously lifting a hand and finding his cheek. She could feel the wetness of tears. “I let everything fall apart.” When he started to pull away, she gripped his arm with her other hand. “I never expected it to go this way.” She was repeating herself, she knew. “I’ve already filled out the paperwork to step down. Tomorrow I’m actually coming in to empty this office. I was never the right person for this job.”

Something in her words seemed to bring him back to now. “No, you are the perfect person for this job. The job just sucks.”

She couldn’t help it, she snorted. “Yes, it does. I must be the worst person ever at it, I managed to lose three agents inside of three weeks followed by another three either transferring out or quitting entirely.”

“Jason lost six in one day followed by two transferring out.” There was a shade of calm in his voice. “That’s still nothing though…”

“What do you have to blame yourself for? You brought us all together, built us up.”

“I-”

“That wasn’t your fault.” She cut off.

“You don’t even know what I was going to say.”

“My statement still stands.” They lapsed into silence, neither knowing where to take the conversation from there. Finally, Emily spoke. “Can I turn on the lamp now? I’d like to see you before you go.” Her hand was still on his cheek, so she felt when he nodded. Pulling away, she flipped the small switch and turned back to him, a gasp slipping out at the sight of the long scar tracing a line down the side of his face from hairline to jaw. It looked ragged, even as it was clearly healing, and like it must’ve hurt. “What happened…”

He shrugged one shoulder, his eyes busy roaming the office, taking in the changes she had and hadn’t made. “I’m okay.” His eyes were red from the tears shed for their fallen friends.

“I don’t think you’ve been okay for a very long time.”

“No?”

“No.” She shook her head. “But I understand.” He gave her a curious look. “Because I haven’t been either.”


End file.
